Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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