I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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