just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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