Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
