Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
