Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
