we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
