if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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