Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
