I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
