When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
