It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
