Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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