quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
