he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize