Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
