I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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