Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
