yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
