I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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