he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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