ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
