I have demons in me.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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