Tell her she can't have a vagina
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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