There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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