You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
