Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize