so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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