so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
