My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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