I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize