I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
