sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
