so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
