Don't you send me to vm
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
