It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
