I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
