yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
