This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize