lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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