i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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