Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize