I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
