I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
