yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
