Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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