Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
