Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize