I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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