i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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