Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
