I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
