fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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