That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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