i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
