id be glad to
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
