you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
