Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
