Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
