So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
