marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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