hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
