too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
