i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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