yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
