My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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