I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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