she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
