You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
