Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When are your genitals available?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize