This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
4 words: hood of his car
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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