Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
